Favorite Mistakes

Meme-ness

2009-11-16T16:26:00.002-05:00

I've been tagged! by the lovely @scunning at I'm Stepping Forward. I'm not a huge fan of these survey things, but it won't hurt me to answer some questions and pass it along :)

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Erica Spradley, we went to the same schools from K-12.

2. Where was your first kiss?
At school in the 4th grade. Does that even count as a kiss? My first kiss kiss was on a group date freshman year of high school.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?
Ha, I don't think so. My dad being a cop and all, I'm not foolish enough to do something like that.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
In high school, for sure. Some guys just deserve it.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
Yes, for school and I did it at church a couple of times.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex?
It's a toss up between their height and their smile (or lack of).

7. What really turns you off?
Constant immaturity. There is a time and a place for everything, and that is not 24/7, everywhere you go.

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Usually a Mocha Frappucino or a Caramel Macchiato.

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Oh, you have come to the right place! Ha, I have made so many.. but I guess the one I have regretted the longest would be leaving my college after only 2 years. I miss the people and the atmosphere. And I think I'll be in school forever now, trying to make up for lost time.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Emotionally maybe, but definitely not physically.

11. Say something totally random about yourself.
I am NOT my own worst critic. That lil saying isn't true for me. I figure there are always going to be people criticizing me and what I do, so why should I criticize myself?

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
When I was way younger I had a couple friends tell me I looked like DJ from Full House. And two boys from camp told me I looked like Drew Barrymore, and that's because my friends and I were supposed to be Charlie's Angels. But I definitely don't look like anyone famous.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
Not kid tv, unless I'm with my nephew. But like Disney movies, for sure!

14. Did you have braces?
Nope, never had them.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
Ha, I'm glad Sarah is taller than me! In middle school, I was taller than all the boys.. so that was no fun. But they all caught up in high school. 5'8" is a pretty average height.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?
This may not seem romantic to most, it's just kind of sweet.. but it's what comes to mind. I was going to a formal for my sorority, and wasn't planning to take a date because I wasn't with anyone at the school. I was talking to a guy at another college, but he found out about it.. came to my school (without me knowing) to pay for himself as my date. And he showed up to take me to my formal. I was so shocked and thought it was soo cute!

17. When do you know its love?
When you're able to see past any flaws and accept him as he is. When he makes you feel like you are more important than he is to himself. And while you know you could live without him, you know you'd never want to.

18. Do you speak any other languages?
Nope. One year of Spanish, two years of French, and four years of Latin. And still, no.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Yes, did it for like 5 weeks with my roommate. Wasn't too impressed.

20. What magazines do you read?
People and Redbook are just about the only ones I will actually read.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Nope, can't say that I have.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Not extremely close, like a parent or a best friend. I've been blessed. But I've definitely been to more funerals than I would ever care to.

23. Do you watch MTV?
I used to. But I rarely ever do now, unless a good movie is on.

24. What’s something that really annoys you?
Certain sounds, drive me up the wall. Repetitive ticking, thumping, tapping noises.. annoy the crap out of me!

25. What’s something you really like?
I really really like tropical things. Tropical places, tropical decorations, colors, scents, etc.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Yep, I just adore child molesters. Did he perform influential, popular music? Yes. But do I like that man? Definitely not.

27. Can you dance?
Ha, depends on what you consider dancing. I do dance, but I'm not sure you'd like to see it.

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up?
I can't even tell you. I'm guessing around 8 am.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes, after my car accident with my mom.

30. Tag 5 people!

@PaciGraveyard, @snarkykisses, @MinnesotaJoZ (<--they've already been tagged, but I'm still picking them) @irishsamom, and @ShannonSunshine

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

Ooh, scandalous...

2009-10-17T22:23:00.005-04:00

There have been some rather disturbing scandals in the blogosphere this year, one in which I was closely affected.. but I won't even go there right now. For reasons I also won't get into (piggy flu!) I have neglected my blog lately, but I have still been keeping a close eye on the blogs I follow. Another situation has come up recently, ultimately leaving people to question the character and legitimacy of bloggers. Today, I thought it would be interesting to simply search "bloggers" and see what came up. I found the usual news stories about angry bloggers, sites with tips on how to make money blogging, etc. But the most interesting thing I found was the following definition:

blog·ger
noun - (as defined by Urban Dictionary)
1. bored housewife trying to make meaning of her tedious life
2. narcissistic writer with enough ego to try to make money off their life online
3. a dramatic, bored person who feels the need to exaggerate stories for attention

Of course, I don't completely agree with these opinions, but it honestly surprises me that bloggers even wonder why people feel this way. I've felt bad in the past about the fact that I'm hesitant to tell some people that I have a blog, but now I feel justified. There are some bad apples out there who have made it difficult for the rest of us to gain any respect outside the blogging community. But regardless of what people believe about us and why, this is the only definition I think we should care about and put to practice:

in·teg·ri·ty
noun - (as defined by Merriam-Webster)
1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values
2 : an unimpaired condition
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided; completeness

The one with too many exclamation points!

2009-09-20T23:56:00.016-04:00

I'm dealing with some major writer's block. I can't even conjure up news articles, which I write all the time. Blah! All I can manage to talk about is what's going on lately. So earlier this week, lil miss Jen asked me if I wanted to be a "Classpert" on the Classy Closet. And of course I was all HECK YEAH! The Classy Closet is a social network for women to talk and learn about things like fashion, style, and wellness. There are some really great girls in that community, and I'm happy to be one of them! If you visit the site, be sure to check out my post introducing myself as a new Classpert! Excuse my randomness.. I know this has nothing to do with anything, but look what I had for dessert tonight. Yeah, strawberry shortcake. No big deal, but it was de-lish-us!

Also food related, this weekend I went to the Greek Festival! I didn't get to see or hear any of the performances, but I did get to try some of the food. I am so not a foodie, but I'm usually willing to try anything as long it doesn't break one of my major food rules. It didn't take long to realize that I would die of starvation if I was Greek! I ended up trying Souvlaki, which was interesting, but I'm definitely not a fan of it. I also had Greek fries and Baklava, which were yum (but I already knew that)! Speaking of Greek, my sorority had their bid day this Friday. They had a good quantity (great quality) of girls who decided to make Tri Sigma their home. I didn't get to attend Bid Day this year, but I plan on meeting all the new sisters at Homecoming in October!

Change of subject.. do you know MckMama @ My Charming Kids? If not, you should definitely read her blog or follow her on twitter. She has a son, Stellan, who has been dealing with serious health issues since before birth, and who was never expected to live. It's a miracle that he is alive today. MckMama is an amazing woman with a tremendous amount of faith, and her family deserves for their story to continue to be told. It's touching to know that so many people have been rallying around this family, supporting them from the very beginning. You should check out what one of her awesome supporters is doing in Stellan's name now. You can start showing support for this cause by putting one of these snazzy little buttons on your sidebar!

Kermit the Frog & the King of Pop

2009-09-13T23:49:00.019-04:00

I typically don't watch award shows. I don't watch the Oscars or anything. But I'm glad I watched MTV's Video Music Awards. It was eventful, to say the very least. If you missed it, I strongly suggest you check out the VMA page or just look at your twitter feed from about 9pm to midnight! Radio City came alive with some talent and a whole lot of awkwardness, from people like Lady Gaga, who arrived with Kermit the Frog as her date. The audience was shocked by Gaga's faux "hanging" and her numerous, crazy wardrobe changes. In true showbiz fashion, the award show continued with a Cirque de Soliel type performance from Pink, and an outrageous act from Kanye West. Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Best Female Video was interrupted when Kanye rushed the stage, took Taylor's microphone and ranted that Beyonce was the rightful winner of the award. For the rest of the award show, the audience booed Kanye. There was a moment of real class, when Taylor Swift was invited onstage to finish her acceptance speech by Beyonce, who had just won Video of the Year. Other highlights of the VMAs included the unveiling of the 'New Moon' trailer, and a chilling tribute performance to the late King of Pop. Check out all the winners, pictures and highlights at the 2009 MTV Video Music Award website.

Update: Not long after being kicked out of the VMAs, Kanye posted a condescending apology to Taylor Swift. You can take a look at it here. I have a feeling this isn't the last we'll be hearing about the incident. I just hope people will focus less on what a d-bag Kanye is, and focus more on the classy manner in which both Beyonce and Taylor Swift handled the situation.

You Capture - something you've never photographed before

2009-09-09T22:34:00.006-04:00

I was a little bored with the original pictures I took, so I tweeked them with my oh-so-favorite site, Picnik.

You Capture challenges held weekly @ I Should Be Folding Laundry

Superior Scribblers

2009-09-08T11:29:00.011-04:00

Renee at Renee's World awarded me with the Superior Scribbler Award! I'm honored, little ol' me winning this awesome award? The SSA was originally created by The Scholastic Scribe in 2008. Here are the rules for passing on this award:

1. Pass the award on to 5 deserving bloggy friends.

2. Name the person who passed the award on to you & link back to his or her blog.

3. Proudly display the award on your blog!

4. Link to this post which explains how the award came to be & add your name to the Mr. Linky list at the end of that post.

It was hard to choose, but I'm awarding the Superior Scribbler to: Amanda @ Steeling Spoons, Katie @ Katie Dot Com, Lovelyn @ Moments with Love, Breanna @ These Unhinged Thoughts, and Erika @ Refreshingly Honest.

I'm #968 to be given this award. Thanks again Renee! Now, keep passing it on to deserving bloggers!

Things that make you go :)

2009-09-07T14:24:00.004-04:00

I've really needed a little pick-me-up lately, and someone suggested that I remind myself of all the things that make me smile. I guess if the smile is on your face, the happiness will be in your heart? It's worth a shot. Hmm, what makes me smile?

Watching my nephew playing and being smart. A really good cup of coffee. Cool breezes on a bright, warm day. Hearing a good song on the radio and using it to predict a good day. Memories of dorm life. When there's no traffic on the interstate. Every single episode of The Office. The fact that when I come home, whether it's been 5 days or 5 minutes, my dog is always happy to see me. Musicals. Lighthearted conversations.. joking and laughing. Seeing cute, well-behaved kids in public. When someone brings me Chik-fil-a. Celebrating people's birthdays. Phone calls from friends. Anything accompanied by "...this made me think of you." When my Sunday school leader sings. Seeing a cheesy movie on tv for the millionth time and knowing every word. Kissing, good kisses. Having a good hair day. Adam Sandler's song "I Wanna Grow Old With You." Baking muffins. Getting a letter or a card in the mail..not email! Shopping for clothes and shoes. When someone asks me to pray with them. Experiencing my city at night. Swimming.. in a pool, the ocean, anywhere. Seth Rogen and Will Ferrell.. always. Movies that make me want to be in love. And spontaneous road trips with random people.

There are a million other things, but I'll leave it at that since Pepper is really wanting to go outside and play.. which makes me smile.

2009-08-31T03:03:00.000-04:00

"I have faith in our generation because of you. Because if you and I are doing the same thing and have the same concerns and hope for more from our generation, then others do too. And that helps me sleep at night."

2009-08-26T15:57:00.007-04:00

Good Girl (2 seconds later) Bad Girl

Anonymity Online

2009-08-19T14:52:00.006-04:00

Bloggers are buzzing about the recent news of Vogue model Liskula Cohen, who recently sued Google for the right to know the identity of an anonymous blogger who was slandering her. Reports today are saying that Cohen won the case, and Google will have to reveal the identity of her slanderer. (To see the comments from the blogger, check the story to the right.)

I personally think this story has been blown out of proportion. If Cohen, a successful model who has done work for Armani and Versace, is so bothered by what people say about her on the internet.. then she's probably in the wrong business. She should be able to face criticism from all sources. On the other hand, I happen to have a big problem with anonymity online. There are certain sites that serve as a trusted place for people to anonymously tell their stories without having to worry about it being linked back to them. I have no problem with this. I fully support these sites, because they serve a good purpose.

But I don't feel people should surf blogs and comment anonymously. I've had some rude anonymous blog commenters in the past. I've thought about removing the option for people to comment anonymously on my blog, but quite frankly, I enjoy confronting the cowards. Yes, cowards. When you comment on people's blogs, you should state who you are and say what you have to say. There is no real reason that you should want to be anonymous. In my experience, the only reason you do this is so you can say something rude or untruthful and not have it directed back at you. That is being a coward. If you're saying something so offensive that you don't even want people to know who's saying it.. then DON'T SAY IT. Seems pretty simple to me. If you have something rude or offensive you want to say to me, or about me or other bloggers.. please, say it outright and with your identity, so we can confront you. I personally will probably get some enjoyment from it.

The same goes for Twitter. Fellow blogger/twitterer Jen Hinton recently made a vlog (you can check it out here) discussing a new site where you can tweet anonymously. As several other people have expressed, I can't think of any positive use for this site. Why should you want to tweet to people anonymously, if not to be sneaky or rude. You have no business on the internet if you are so worried about people finding out who you are. It's just creepy.

2009-08-10T02:15:00.010-04:00

It's not just here that we need to believe, not just in this city. Because everyone's tested, everywhere.

How much pressure can we handle before we crack? What will it take to piece us back together? Because whether You sent us angels or not, the only real hope we have is each other.

We get lost, we're afraid...and You know what it's like for the lost and the frightened. They lose faith in You, in themselves, in each other.

So maybe You've sent us those angels, or maybe...maybe You just need us to believe in them. But for me, I need You.

This time my faith, my belief, even in the angels You might've sent my way...they're not enough. They're not enough, not this time.

Please, please help me. Don't let this happen again.

(The Cleaner)

A Little Bit of Ranting

2009-08-07T19:30:00.001-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while, and I hate for my first post to be a rant.. but just bear with me. I am getting seriously aggravated with ignorant blog commenters. If you're an ignorant blogger, fine.. I can choose not to read your blog. But when you're commenting on my blog or the blog of others I read, please try to have some manners. No, I don't expect you to agree with everything or anything we say. You are entitled to your opinions, but just be polite when making your opinions known. There is no need for you to show us how ignorant you are by running off at the mouth, insulting people and things that you know nothing about. If you're going to try to be all snarky and rude, at least do it intelligently. Do not bring your low self-esteem and equally low IQ onto my (or a friend's) blog. Keep it to yourself, because quite frankly.. no one cares. I don't go to wherever people are unfortunate enough to be hearing you speak and bad-mouth you for no reason. If I don't agree with you, I will either keep it to myself or find a decent way to tell you. Seriously, grow up and get a life. Thanks.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

2009-08-05T20:09:00.001-04:00

"When I say I am a Christian" by Maya Angelou

2009-06-17T17:47:00.002-04:00

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

2009-05-29T14:54:00.007-04:00

"A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?"

Race Consciousness & Politics

2009-05-26T14:47:00.006-04:00

Anne Wortham is Associate Professor of Sociology at Illinois State Universityand continuing Visiting Scholar at Stanford University 's Hoover Institution. She is a member of the American Sociological Association and the American Philosophical Association. She has been a John M. Olin Foundation Faculty Fellow, and honored as a Distinguished Alumni of the Year by the National Association for Equal Opportunity in Higher Education.
Recently, she has published articles on the significance of multiculturalism and Afrocentricism in education, the politics of victimization and the social and political impact of political correctness. This is one of her recent articles:

Fellow Americans,
- Please know: I am Black; I grew up in the segregated South. I did not vote for Barack Obama; I wrote in Ron Paul's name as my choice for president. Most importantly, I am not race conscious. I do not require a Black president to know that I am a person of worth, and that life is worth living. I do not require a Black president to love the ideal of America. I cannot join you in your celebration. I feel no elation. There is no smile on my face. I am not jumping with joy. There are no tears of triumph in my eyes. For such emotions and behavior to come from me, I would have to deny all that I know about the requirements of human flourishing and survival - all that I know about the history of the United States of America , all that I know about American race relations, and all that I know about Barack Obama as a politician. I would have to deny the nature of the "change" that Obama asserts has come to America.
- Most importantly, I would have to abnegate my certain understanding that you have chosen to sprint down the road to serfdom that we have been on for over a century. I would have to pretend that individual liberty has no value for the success of a human life. I would have to evade your rejection of the slender reed of capitalism on which your success and mine depend. I would have to think it somehow rational that 94 percent of the 12 million Blacks in this country voted for a man because he looks like them (that Blacks are permitted to play the race card), and that they were joined by self-declared "progressive" whites who voted for him because he doesn't look like them.
- I would have to wipe my mind clean of all that I know about the kind of people who have advised and taught Barack Obama and will fill posts in his administration - political intellectuals like my former colleagues at the Harvard University 's Kennedy School of Government. I would have to believe that "fairness" is equivalent of justice. I would have to believe that man who asks me to "go forward in a new spirit of service, in a new service of sacrifice" is speaking in my interest. I would have to accept the premise of a man that economic prosperity comes from the "bottom up," and who arrogantly believes that he can will it into existence by the use of government force. I would have to admire a man who thinks the standard of living of the masses can be improved by destroying the most productive and the generators of wealth.
- Finally, Americans, I would have to erase from my consciousness the scene of 125,000 screaming, crying, cheering people in Grant Park, Chicago irrationally chanting "Yes We Can!" Finally, I would have to wipe all memory of all the times I have heard politicians, pundits, journalists, editorialists, bloggers and intellectuals declare that capitalism is dead - and no one, including especially Alan Greenspan, objected to their assumption that the particular version of the anti-capitalistic mentality that they want to replace with their own version of anti-capitalism is anything remotely equivalent to capitalism.
- So you have made history, Americans. You and your children have elected a Black man to the office of the president of the United States, the wounded giant of the world. The battle between John Wayne and Jane Fonda is over - and that Fonda won. Eugene McCarthy and George McGovern must be very happy men. Jimmie Carter, too. And the Kennedys have at last gotten their Kennedy look-a-like. The self-righteous welfare statists in the suburbs can feel warm moments of satisfaction for having elected a Black person.
- So, toast yourselves: 60s countercultural radicals, 80s yuppies and 90s bourgeois bohemians. Toast yourselves, BlackAmerica. Shout your glee Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Duke, Stanford, and Berkeley. You have elected not an individual who is qualified to be president, but a man who, like the pragmatist Franklin Roosevelt, promises to - Do Something! You now have someone who has picked up the baton of Lyndon Johnson's Great Society. But you have also foolishly traded your freedom and mine - what little there is left - for the chance to feel good.
- There is nothing in me that can share your happy obliviousness.

Pursuit of Happiness

2009-04-24T18:12:00.006-04:00

I was having a talk with a friend this week who just recently divorced his wife of 5 years, and he's been in deep depression. This is just the tail end of the whole conversation, so it's taken out of context.. but I got sick of sugar coating things and finally said this to him.

We usually don't know what we want or what's good for us.. we have bad habits and our feelings can change at the drop of a dime. I think the only way we can really be happy is if we rely on ourselves.. trust ourselves, love ourselves. The people we love can hurt us, and we can hurt them. We should just let people come in and out of our lives, and while they're here we can have fun with them and love them. But you have to realize that they might not always be there, so you shouldn't have to depend on them for happiness. You'll never make anyone else happy if you can't make yourself happy.

Am I right? Opinions?

PostSecret

2009-04-20T00:14:00.003-04:00

Single White Female

2009-03-26T13:27:00.004-04:00

I'm turning 22 this year, and I have no clue whether or not I'll be single. I've only been in the dating game for about six years, but I've had my experiences. I guess it's not really the people I've dated that have been the problem, but it's the situations. I've done long-distance relationships, dated guys who were too old for me, guys who were on the rebound, and guys who were too immature and needed a mother, not a girlfriend. I dated a guy (the "love of my life") off and on for about two years, while he was going to school across the country in California. Our relationship had so many ups and downs because of the complication of the distance. I was pretty young when we were dating, 17 or 18 years old. I know a lot of teenagers go through this situation when college starts, but after going through a couple years of that, I would never recommend long distance relationships for teenagers or young adults.

But I've had some problems with guys who were living right here. I've especially learned never to date a guy who is just out of a bad relationship. Ladies, I don't care how cute he is or how long you've liked him, DO NOT be the rebound girl. I am dating a guy right now who is great and makes me happy, but I'm in a weird situation with him too. He's older, 26 this year, and he has a son from a previous relationship. I can handle the kid (he's adorable!), but I can't handle baby mama drama. This hasn't been an issue so far. But he also lives almost three hours away now, so we have quite a commute to see each other. Relationships like this require a great deal of trust and communication, which we are lucky to have. Right now it's going great, but we're only a month into the relationship and I can see where problems can arise in the future.

It seems a lot of girls my age are already engaged or married, but I don't see a wedding in my near future. Sure, I want to get married eventually, but I'm satisfied looking for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. Sometimes I think it's better to be single and just test the waters. I still don't know where my life is taking me, I don't even know where next year will take me! I definitely don't need to bring someone else into this mess of a life and have them try to make it part of theirs. I think it's best for young adults to worry about their own lives and their own happiness first. Get your life in order, and make sure to have fun along the way. I don't think at this age, that looking for love should be a major goal. Put yourself out there, make yourself available, and just see what happens. If you find love, if you find your Mr. or Ms. Right, great! But if not, don't stress, we're still young and we have time. There is no rule saying you must be married by 23 and have two and a half kids by 30. Even if there was, we've never been that good at following rules anyway, so why start now?

Seventeen

2009-03-17T23:39:00.003-04:00

Seventeen is the number of the week. Seventeen:
- today's date -- Happy St. Patrick's Day!
- number of volunteers we still need for the St. Baldrick's event next Saturday
- number of people who fell asleep atleast once during history class tonight
- cups of coffee I will need to make it through said history class
- number of times the teacher laughed at his own jokes that weren't funny
- age of my aunt (yes, aunt) who is now pregnant
- text messages sent during class
- doodles on the front of my notebook now (which bothers my OCDness)
- name of the magazine at the foot of my bed (don't judge me for that)
- number of times I told my dog to shut up today
- amount of blog posts that are missing in action so far this year

Embrace Your Grace

2009-02-27T12:30:00.004-05:00

"I wanna bust the world wide open the way you do when you’re filled with youth. I wanna engage with people and lovers. I wanna be physical and I wanna ask the big questions. I wanna run headlong into chaos and bad guys and darkness and pranks and fun and laugh, laugh, laugh. I wanna be the best friend and I wanna be the greatest aunt and the most complicated daughter. I wanna be the mystery in the room. I wanna be known."

Hi, I'm Raychel and I'm a fixer.

2009-02-17T20:32:00.004-05:00

I've come to realize that I might be a fixer. I'm one of the girls that I have made fun of, who have this controlling tendancy to fix people. Turns out, I'm on of those girls. And I shouldn't single us out, there are guys who do this too. Anyway, the manfriend I have spoken of lately has problems. Well, he had problems in his past and he's done almost a 180 and changed his lifestyle. I am a somewhat judgmental person and I would never have become friends with him if he still did the things he used to do. But he has changed and has a new attitude and lifestyle, more different even from when I met him 2 years ago. It's exciting to see him (or anyone for that matter) go through this change. The good thing though is that he often tells me that I have helped him change and that I made him put things into perspective. It's good to hear that you've helped someone in that way. But I think I've become a little addicted to "fixing" him. When he strays the slightest bit off this new path he's made for himself, I am quick to get on his case about it. I don't think I'm doing it for bad reasons though. I care about him and I don't want to see him get back into things that make him unhappy. He seems to be happy that I'm here to give my opinion on things and to show concern. But, am I being more of a mom than a womanfriend? Sometimes it feels like I'm saying, "Now listen here Manfriend, you know what you need to do. Don't make me spank you" (and totally not in a kinky way either). I just need to know the boundaries. I need to know when it's not my place to tell him what he should do, even if he asks. First I have to get over the fear that if I back off, he'll fall into bad things. I mean, he is a grown man. He has to be able to use his own good judgment, right?

2009-02-03T15:48:00.004-05:00

The past few weeks have been fairly random. There are have been a lot of family issues, but they've somewhat subsided for the time being. I finally got everything ready for school, except my laptop which has to be sent in and fixed (such fun). My first class starts February 10th, and I'm actually ready to be back on a schedule. I haven't worked much lately, so I've been pretty bored. I have a new manfriend. He's quite a bit older than me, but he's responsible and actually a lot of fun. Also, I have gone down 2 pant sizes in the past month.. woohoo! I personally can't see the difference, but apparently my family can.. and I can feel the difference. Hmm, what else? Oh, it's perksofbeingme's birthday today. Stop by and wish her a good one! Anyway, I guess that's all for now.

Go Green

2009-01-29T16:39:00.013-05:00

These are just a few of my favorite "green" items so far this year. They're either useful, stylish, or affordable, but they're all environmentally friendly in some way.

Envirosax Retro Graphic Bag
This Austrailan made, retro print tote is lightweight and waterproof; can be used as a personal carrier, or can hold two plastic bags worth of groceries. It comes in several styles and colors, and runs for only $10.

Clean w ell Natural Hand Sanitizer Spray
All-natural Ingenium™ formula of plant oils proven to kill 99.9% of germs; safe for kids and doesn't leave hands dry. I bought mine locally for $3 a bottle.

Vers Bamboo iPod Player
The all-in-one iPod dock - player and charger has 8 iPod adapters and universal mp3 dock. It's made of rapidly-renewable bamboo, and has energy-efficient components. I've found it for as low as $119 at certain online shops.

My Favorite Number: 25

2009-01-24T23:09:00.009-05:00

This originated on Facebook, but it's fun and I wanted to share it with my blogger loves.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 5 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. Hopefully I'll learn something new about the people I've tagged.

1. I have naturally curly hair.
2. I HATE the sound of repetitive ticking, clicking, or tapping.
3. Owls give me the creeps. Ugh, just saying that gave me chills.
4. I say "your mom" way too much, and at inappropriate times.
5. I can't stand silence.. ever.
6. I love musicals. I pretend like my life is one.
7. I have a really disturbing sense of humor.
8. I don't like elevators. They make me feel sick.
9. I don't believe in political correctness.
10. I get really mad when people don't pay attention to movies they've never seen before.
11. My dog is psychotic, and I'm glad.
12. I can't see out of my left eye anymore.
13. I hate bugs with a passion, but I can't kill them.
14. The love of my life is my 3-year-old nephew.
15. I love Jesus, but probably not as much as I could.
16. If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.
17. I apparently still listen to old 90's artists, like the Spice Girls.
18. My sister and I are as close together in age as you can be without being twins.
19. I am a sweet tea addict.
20. 90% of the people I know call me Ray Charles.
21. I really don't like sushi or seafood.
22. I indirectly pay the salary of half the local Starbucks baristas.
23. Give me a handwritten note or a mix CD and I will love you forever.
24. I have 24 pairs of shoes and I only wear 5 of them.
25. I couldn't ride a 2 wheeler until I was 9 years old.

Tagged: perksofbeingme, bedsidetalesman, Shannon, Jonathan, and shrinkeringhearts (who already has 100 facts on her blog)

Dear Bloggers:

2009-01-20T21:02:00.008-05:00

In the 3 ½ minutes it takes you to read this, another family will get the devastating news that their child has cancer. I lost two young friends to Leukemia in 2008 alone. I also have a number of adult relatives who have lost their battle with different forms of cancer. It's a disease that affects us all in some way.
The St. Baldrick’s Foundation exists to give families hope and the promise of a cure which will leave their child healthy and assured of a full life. The St. Baldrick’s mission is to raise awareness and funds for childhood cancer research. Raising awareness is the first step in the fight to end childhood cancer, but without proper funds, a cure will never be found.
Despite the economic challenges of our time, children with cancer continue to fight for their lives. So St. Baldrick's is asking for your support – fully recognizing it may be harder than ever to give. Generosity in a time of hardship is heroic – and heroism is the essence of the St. Baldrick’s community. Even if it isn't possible to give your money, your time as a volunteer or a shavee is equally appreciated. You will be surprised at how little you have to do in order to be a hero to someone with cancer.
Please join us in the fight for a cure and Be a Hero for Kids with Cancer!

With profound gratitude,
Raychel, a 2nd year volunteer

$5, $50, $500 - No amount goes unnoticed or unappreciated.
If you are unable to donate, please pass this link on wherever you can!
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/volunteer_info.php?ParticipantKey=2009-56253

Friends + Snow = Monday Memory

2009-01-19T19:32:00.007-05:00

In lieu of the impending snow in South Carolina, today's memory is of the last time it snowed. I think it was two years ago, and I was a sophomore at Newberry College. Even then It wasn't near time for me to wake up, but I was disturbed by the playful screams in the hallway of our dorm. Before walking my pajama clad body out into the hall, I glanced out the window and saw the entire quad blanketed in snow. I ran to my neighbors room and woke them up, telling them it had actually snowed. The three of us put on layers of whatever clothes we could find first, and ran outside to play and write our names in the snow. A larger group of us braved the cold and walked around the whole campus to look at the snow and take pictures. It didn't take long before the snow grew on us, and we all got dressed in regular winter clothes and headed to the cafeteria, hoping the workers hadn't deserted us for lunch. Lucky for us, the crew had already arrived and warm meals were waiting for us. We ended up spending half the day in the cafeteria with all our on-campus classmates. Around these parts, there's usually only a fine layer of snow and it never sticks for long, but that year it continued to snow all day and through that night. We missed classes for two days, leaving us with a four day weekend. It was pretty great. I have the feeling it's not actually going to snow tonight, but I hope it does. Even though Southerners freak out in this weather, I think snow atleast looks calm and peaceful.

Sisters + Coffee = Monday Memory

2009-01-12T19:05:00.004-05:00

I was driving my usual route to work this morning, down Percival Road to the interstate. I drive down this road atleast once a day, but today I saw something I haven't seen in a long time. There is a string of small, unkept buildings along Percival in between the neighborhood and the interstate. One of these little buildings used to be a store, of what kind I can't remember. It's a very small, off-white building with a bright green awning across the front. When my sister and I were young, and our family lived on this road, we wanted to own this building. We thought it would be perfect for a coffee shop. For many years, even through high school, my sister and I always thought we'd start a business together. This little coffee shop on Percival was our first idea though. I remember we loved the idea of running a very casual, friendly place where we'd have repeat customers. "Give me the usual," they'd say to us in our little fantasy. I think we even picked out an entire color scheme and the furniture for the place. We weren't even bothered with the little details of what kind of coffee we'd serve. It's fun to be reminded of these silly little things out of nowhere.

Hi, I'm Raychel and I'm in a Quarterlife Crisis.

2009-01-07T10:18:00.007-05:00

I (among those around me) have come to the realization that I am having a quarterlife crisis. I tell you this as I'm still lounging in bed at 10:30am. In my defense, I have a regular bedtime of 3:00am. But this is partially my point. I feel so lazy these days. Maybe it's just the holidays, but I don't think so. Everyone else is back in the swing of things and I'm still taking time off work. It's to the point where I feel completely obligated to have atleast 4 days off per week. Now, granted my situation with my kind of job, this is not a bad thing necessarily. But I actually need the money right now. I guess I'm sick of the responsibility already. I'm not against responsibility, I just want different responsibilites. I want my own place to take care of, and I want a different, more stable job. I want a boyfriend I can see more than once a month (sorry, Ivan, I love you) so my relationship will feel more real. I want to freakin finish college! I don't think that's happening anytime soon though.
I am definitely in a rut. I think this is better than a midlife crisis though. I'm not buying unusually colored sports vehicles, dyeing my hair to cover the grays, and throwing myself off of bridges for fun (not yet, atleast). I just feel so unsettled these days, like I really need something to focus on. But apparently school and work aren't good enough. Am I just being a big baby? Half the time I just want to tell myself, "Suck it up and put your big girl panties on!" But, in our new generation of young adults, should we be intitled to a quarterlife crisis?

New Year, Same Mistakes

2009-01-05T13:28:00.004-05:00

Okay, so this post isn't completed yet. But I'm never going to finish it an post it unless I put this here to remind me. I'm just too restless and scatter-brained lately. So, feel free to harass me until I post it.

[Edit 1/6/09] Still working on it. Sorry, it's not an easy topic to write about.

[Edit 1/7/09] Screw it. I have other things on my mind.

Laughter, Certificates, and Cocktails

2008-12-30T16:00:00.003-05:00

Continuing my "Things I Heard" posts with random things I've heard, not just this week, but this month and actually remembered to write down:

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad."
"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
"I'll take whatever Glenda the Good Witch took."
"[I'm] beginning to think instantaneous access to Facebook through [my] iPhone does not go well with too many cocktails."
"I have a certificate. Does anyone else have a certificate? I have a certificate!"

I am both ashamed and amused to report that half of these were heard at Waffle House.

Update

2008-12-21T23:54:00.006-05:00

A lot of junk has been going on lately. I could spend hours talking/typing here and pouring my emotions onto the screen, but I'd rather not. So, let me just state the facts. I tried to quit my job, yes "tried" and ended up just reducing my schedule to whenever I feel like working. I guess I should have done long ago. My boss and I have not exactly been getting along lately, and with school next sememster.. it just wasn't going to work out. So, my last real day at work was Saturday, and I'm pretty happy about that. And a friend of friends, a high school kid, died this week of Leukemia. We're driving up 4 HOURS to North Carolina for the funeral tomorrow. This will be the 3rd cancer-caused funeral this year. I will have lots of people to be shaving in honor of this coming year for St. Baldricks. Anyway, I finally finished all my Christmas shopping, sent all packages that needed sending, and have even wrapped most of everything. Oh, and on Christmas night, there's a sort of reunion of the classes of 2001-2005 from high school and I'm thinking it'll be pretty interesting. I'm kind of looking forward to it. So, I'm being optimistic about this coming week. I'm gonna need for it to be good.

2008-12-03T13:32:00.002-05:00

I feel like I'm in a commercial. I'm sitting on the couch wearing pink pj pants and a blue fuzzy bathrobe (thanks Britt), eating Special K and drinking coffee while I watch the Tyra Banks show. Now, is it more unacceptable that I'm doing this at only 21 years of age, or that I'm doing this at 1:30 in the afternoon?

Christmastime

2008-12-01T13:10:00.008-05:00

For the first time in a week, I have the house all to myself again. I'm making coffee and listening to Christmas music. This song, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas makes me a little sad. You'd think it's supposed to be a happy song, but it sounds like a song you'd sing to someone who is sad, so it makes me kind of melancholy. I think I'm actually excited about Christmas though. I mean, it's cold outside (which I can't stand), there's plenty of studying to do in preparation for exams, work is getting hectic; the only thing that makes this time of year bearable is the thought of Christmas. But last year Christmas with my family, well kind of without my family, was horrible. My family was going through World War XVI (16 for you non-Roman numeral reading folks). Christmas was not exactly fun or happy last year, so I'm kind of anxious about it this year. But we just put up our tree and I've done some gift shopping, and it's kind of getting me in the mood for Christmas. I guess this year I'm just going to be optimistic and hope that the rest of the family isn't remembering last year. So far there aren't any problems apart from the usual bickering over meaningless things. But I hope we're all putting in a little extra effort this year, to try and make up for last Christmas. That's all anyone can ask really. The only other thing I will need in order to have a good Christmas is for my man to come back from California. He was here for Thanksgiving and it was more than fantastic. I miss him already though and I'm just praying he gets to come back even for a few days around Christmas. Here's to wishful thinking!

Little People, Big World

2008-11-10T01:26:00.007-05:00

Little People is an ongoing project in England, best described as "handpainted people, left in London to fend for themselves." It is literally, thousands of tiny people and buildings and props set up in random, sometimes ironic locations in London. I think the scenes are both amazing and amusing. This is by far my favorite.

I know it looks a little violent, but I find it slightly amusing. It reminds me of the Miniature Killer series in CSI.

2008-10-15T01:47:00.003-04:00

I hate when something happens and you have no one to tell. I can't tell anyone close to me, because I know exactly how each of them with respond. I can't handle their reactions. I don't need someone else to freak out and start trying to control my life, "for my own benefit." I need someone to just let me be quiet if I want to, let me cry if I want to, let me live if I want to. I need someone to tell me it's ok to feel the way I feel because I've done all I can do. And I just don't want to think about it anymore, but it's the only thing on my mind.

Brittany

2008-10-05T20:55:00.006-04:00

I'm muchos exhausted. Just got off a ten hour shift. I'm going to bed early, but first I'm posting the link to my friend's blog. She does a weekly Saturday's Sensational Six post, highlighting 6 things of a sort, like favorite songs or things that make her smile. Her sensational six this week were inspired by one of our night trips to Books a Million where we rarely do or say anything normal. So, check that out.

Order of Betrayal, Table One

2008-09-10T00:47:00.003-04:00

be·tray /bɪˈtreɪ/ –verb
1. to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; to disregard a trust
2. to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to
3. to deceive, misguide, or corrupt
4. to seduce and desert

You've managed to demonstrate every definition of the word. Good job.

Sharks, Monk, and Naked Frisbee

2008-08-11T15:20:00.007-04:00

This week I've had a lot of free time. I've had time to do random things, go random places, and to hear random things. I couldn't resist writing some of these things down, and now I'm posting them.

"Sharks can only be found in the northern and southern hemispheres."
"Dude, you're married. Don't flirt."
"I wet my brother's bed twice, played naked frisbee, laughed til I cried...It was pretty much the best weekend of my life."
"She tells me God got her pregnant. Well, the Big Guy owes me an apology. She was my girlfriend, he shoulda asked me first."
"You're like Monk. I know you're intelligent, but you sure say some stupid things sometimes."

And the prize goes to me, for being insulted by my ex-boyfriend with that last statement.

2008-08-05T03:14:00.005-04:00

When you drop a glass or a plate on the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, or when a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think, since it's so important, it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a symbol. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all cause there's not always someone there to catch you. In life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

2008-07-25T12:32:00.004-04:00

I've either been too busy or just haven't felt like posting lately. And I still have nothing to say, so I'm just rattling off some useless information. I really hate when my dad is off work, because he just sits there on the phone with people from work, talking about work. Point, please? Anyway, I have to run some errands before work, but atleast they're fun errands. Oh, and less than a week until my birthday. Be excited! Bye.

Wow.

2008-07-16T10:05:00.008-04:00

It's only Wednesday, and this week has already been more than interesting. A very good, old friend has come back into my life. Our relationship is resurfacing pretty much right where we left it. It's a good thing and it's making me happy, almost giddy. But it's scary. I'm not sure how to take it yet. We were so close for two years, then we both transferred to different schools and basically stopped talking. Now, out of nowhere, he's back. And he's coming at me in a way that I'm not accustomed to coming from him. It's just weird. Hopefully I can get past it quickly. I've really missed him.

Also, there are two people in my life.. very different situations.. that I have had such an up and down relationship with lately. It's so frustrating. As soon as I begin to consider one of them as someone I can actually love and trust, they show me otherwise. Anyway, they've both come to let me down this week. I blame myself partially though. I think I'm expecting too much out of people. Why should they be loving and understanding? Eh, it's not on their agenda I guess. I'm just deciding not to care so much anymore. C'est la vie.

In other news, everything with school is quickly falling into place. My references were more than generous with their evaluations of me. I've finished my 1,000 word admissions essay. Financial aid is pouring in. This might actually happen! I'm excited and still a little nervous. There are still some things to work out.. living arrangments, a few extra costs.. but it's nothing I can't tackle.

There is something else going on right now. It's pretty personal, and it's weighing heavily on me right now. I can't even begin to explain it. But the people around me don't seem to even notice the effect it's having on me. I'm dying for someone to understand it and what it's doing to me. But at the same time, I'd rather that no one cares, that way I don't have to confess it to anyone.

During the Storm

2008-07-10T00:03:00.008-04:00

I'm writing this offline and it will be posted as soon as the power is back on.

I was on the way home from work around 10 o'clock. When I pulled off the interstate onto Percival Road, I realized it was pitch black outside. Not a single business or house in sight has power. Street lights are out too, so traffic is crazy. It is very eerie. All I can hear, other than the clacking of my fingers on the keyboard, is rain and the occasional distant siren. I assume most people aren't too bothered by the power outage at this time of night. Most people haven't even realized it yet because they are asleep. I, on the other hand, have no intention of going to bed soon. Even if I wanted to go to sleep now, I couldn't. I cannot sleep in silence. I can barely be awake in silence. My computer has about two hours of battery left. I'm praying the power will be back on before my computer dies, but I'm guessing that's just wishful thinking. Ah, it is so quiet when I stop typing. Every little noise is freaking me out. Wait! I have music on my computer. Okay, now listening to my Broadway Musical playlist. I am happy. My dog keeps letting out heavy sighs at the foot of the bed. I'm going to assume it's because she's hot and bored. I will not take it as a reflection on my taste in music.

Ehhh!

2008-07-10T00:03:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago, our hot water heater died. We have a new one and just haven't installed it yet. It's summer.. we're not exactly missing hot water. BUT ever since that freaky storm the other day, we have no air conditioning. Once again, it is summer... we're suffering! On top of that, there has been no power in part of the house because of the storm. I'm not sure how you can have power in some rooms of the house, and not in others.. but it's possible. Luckily, my room is where the fuse box is.. so I have power. But it pretty much sucks not having any air at all, or power in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom.

Does someone want to adopt/kidnap me?

[Edit 7/12/08] We had to get a new switchboard for the power and AC. It's fixed now. We finally installed the hot water heater too, not that I will be using it for anything other than doing the dishes.

Personality

2008-06-30T01:05:00.004-04:00

A little while back, I ran into my psychology teacher when he came into my work. We talked for a while and he told me about a new Personality Evaluation that he and some colleagues are developing. He ended up asking me to participate in a personality study for it. This involved several phone conversations and surveys, along with sit-down interviews. After about a month, my personal analysis finally came in. I just read it. It is very long and very thorough. I found the results somewhat amusing, but embarrassingly true. Here are some snippets from it:

Your sense of who you are and what your place is in the world around you rests on values and principles that are the solid ground you walk upon. You've tested them, they work for you, and much of the time you are content to trust them, that is, until some provocative new idea slips in from a conversation, book or some flight of your active imagination. "What's this. Never thought of it before." And off you go, exploring.
You have an understanding and compassionate heart. Yes, you know that others need to learn to take care of themselves. Yes, you know they need to accept the consequences of their foolish or bad behavior. And sometimes, even when your instinct is to help them, you will let them fend for themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances.
You take great satisfaction in knowing that people think of you as disciplined and responsible, but you also know that you have something of a free spirit in you, and when this spirit moves you, off you go, following the impulse of the moment. You are rightly proud of your work ethic, but you also enjoy your willingness to lay the tools down, crank up the music and play like a child.
You listen well, but when it's your turn, you talk vigorously and with animation. In situations where you feel very safe, when you trust the people you're with, you can be very unrestrained. Some people are more cautious than you in personal encounters; others like to be more formal, more impersonal than is comfortable for you. Still others, who may want more of the spotlight, will find you too much to compete with once you get your lively and outgoing self in motion.

Just thinking outloud...or on screen.

2008-06-27T02:01:00.005-04:00

I was just thinking about how...sometimes I feel stuck. Like, my life is going in slow motion and I really want to pick up the pace, but I can't. It's like I have all these thoughts in my head, ideas of how I want things to be, what I want to do. But I can't seem to make any of it happen. It's kind of a helpless feeling. It really frustrates me. I think maybe I'm a little scared though. Scared of the change and afraid of things going wrong. I don't want to be disappointed when things don't turn out the way I expect them to. It would really help if anyone besides me knew what I was talking about. I don't find it necessary to tell just anyone about these things, my ideas and goals. These things are personal and I really only feel like discussing it with someone who will not only listen, but be supportive. That's it. The people who do know what I'm trying to do with my life, don't understand. They're not supporting me. I need someone to tell me that I can do it. I need someone to have faith in me and my dreams when I sometimes don't. Until then, I'm afraid I'll stay trapped by my own fear and lack of faith.

Reasons Why I Dumped You

2008-06-23T23:52:00.007-04:00

One of my favorite blogs is by a woman named Kate. She has second blog that I was just recently introduced to. As I understand, people were asked to send in simple reasons that they broke up with an ex. I just couldn't pass some of these up.

Reasons Why I Dumped You:
- You took me on a first date to a ping pong club...where you took lessons. You kept spiking the ping pong at me.
- You didn't know how to get from 7th avenue to 6th avenue.
- You offered to have your vasectomy reversed for me on our 3rd date.
- After a 10 minute monologue on why you said you were 5' 9" instead of 5' 6", you wanted to know if I wanted to see your porn collection.
- You tucked your sweater into your pants. Yuck.
- You interrupted my story to correct my pronunciation of “red herring,” insisting the H was silent. When I looked it up, you said the dictionary was wrong.

Reminiscing

2008-06-21T15:02:00.008-04:00

My best friend just found her old website from high school. There was a page on it dedicated to our inside jokes. I am so amused by it. It is both amazing and embarrassing the things that we found so great back then. We were entertained by dancing in movie theaters and writing fake love notes in 8th grade chorus. We are random:

Ray- It's Molly! Why would I want to grow up? I wanna ride in giant tea-cups and spin around and around until I puke. Dancing in the movie theatre. Talking to myself on the flo, watching Switched and Hang Time! UPTOWN GIR(S)L! TLC days! Kenneth and the purple underwear. Butt pillow! We've got so many memories.. from JCBC to FCOG. Who would have thought that we ended up at the same church again after all these years?! I'm so glad we did. My car is my closet! CHILD OF LOVE! You’re my daughter and your sister is also my sister... wait a minute? I got an idea! Let's go roller-skating at 10 at night! Well, it was fun, except your broken leg and ankle and my messed up neck. We'll never do that again. But we had fun up until that moment. What do you want to eat? Oh I forgot you can't make a decision. How about chicken. Isn't this the same meal we had last time! We're old geezers that can sing! I'll use the walker and you will be in your wheel chair.. now what about Jamie? Oh yeah, the "letter" from 8th grade. Driving off campus everday for lunch. We have our routine (as long as we don't forget it!). Dancing in the movie theater, you hiding behind the curtain, gay waiters at Cracker Barrel (now I just work with them). Stalkers in the parking lot, wearing pink fluffy crowns on my birthday, okra and cornbread, IYC 2004. Performing open-heart surgery, setting random things on fire to see what happens. "WICKED! That's so wicked, I mean it's wicked!" Hacunamawhata? A blue enchilda! Trips to Due West and Uptown Girls. Eating ice cream for $1.25, you can't get that much ice cream for that cheap anywhere else, but hey.. it is Due West! Middler Camp- burning Tony Hawk (at least he was dead first) and the poor baby, do you have Tony Stewart? The sub skit, oh wait! I mean the snack shack! You know, I think we should still go to Wal-Mart and ask for some cuh-no-pees. Let's see what they give us! Beauty Queen Klutz. Guess what I'm going to save my money to buy? K-SMOOTH! Guess what I'm going to do in my spare time? K-SMOOTH! Guess what my first excuse for being late to work will be? I peed in my pants because and elephant exploded! Well I'm about to go flying blonde!

2008-06-18T22:44:00.011-04:00

I spent some time with my mini-me the past few days. This has involved lots of coffee and lots of sun exposure. I greatly enjoyed both. I decided to take the camera along and happened to capture a few great pictures. Go Fuji!

I Love Me

2008-06-11T10:55:00.007-04:00

I haven't blogged in about a month. Not that I haven't had the time, I just haven't had any organized thoughts in a while. I've been doing some.. thinking (soul searching would sound so cliche) lately. Thinking about myself, my friends, and life in general. I don't know why I wonder about these things so much because I usually never come to any conclusions... especially about myself. However, I have come to understand something. I have always held my friends in such high regard. I consider myself a pretty good judge in character, so of course the people I choose to be around are great. But, the mistake I have always made is in judging myself by how my friends view me. I think a lot of people say that's a good thing... that you should be able to tell what kind of person you are by how your friends think of you. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that's good enough. I do love my friends and they are wonderful people, but they are just that.. people. They have flaws, just like I do. What makes the opinions of my friends so much more important than my own. What if a friend is angry with me or has a change in heart and decides that I'm not good enough. Does that mean that I should look down on myself for it? I have always been so concerned about what my friends think of me. But, if my friends loved me as much I love them, they would never look down on me or think badly of me. Right? Don't get me wrong, I do want my friends to like me of course, and it would upset me if they didn't.

However, I have known myself much longer than any of my friends. I have, if you will, been in a relationship with myself for almost 21 years. That's one hell of a relationship if you ask me. So, is it so wrong that I be more concerned about how I think of myself? Because lately I have cared so much more about what my friends think of me. And it's just not working. Friendships are hard. They take work, and I'm more than willing to put in the effort it takes to make my friendships work. But the relationship I have with myself is harder. It's so much easier to criticize myself and to not trust myself with certain matters. So, I think it's pretty important that I learn to think better of myself and to love myself more. After all, I am the only person that has always been there for me and always will be. So, it may come off as arrogance or even ignorance... but I won't care. At the end of the day, the only person I am responsible for and responsible to, is myself.

P.S. Someone is driving down my street in a golf cart again. Someone would enjoy that bit of information.

Work and Waffle House

2008-05-18T10:41:00.005-04:00

I had a good week. Friday and Saturday were great. I worked doubles, so it is still surprising to me that I had such good days . I usually encounter some real douche bags at work, but the past few days I've met some awesome people. I even made an unintentional friend from an accidental phone call. That's a long story, but an awesome one. You must ask me about it later.
Last night was interesting. Brittany wanted to do something after I got off work, so I went to her house to watch The Rescuers and decorate orange cones. Ha! That is why this girl is my best friend.
I have a cookout with my family today. I didn't know about it until.. today. I guess it will be fun though. As much fun as family events can be. It's probably going to be a disaster and ruin my weekend. Even if it does, I'll just go out with Brittany or Shannon afterward and be retarded and have some random fun. That will make me happy again.

[Edit: 10:56am] Brittany just IMed me to ask to go to a picnic tonight. If we don't do that we'll probably end up doing something random. Plus, next week both of our parents are out of town. Time for trouble! All is good with the world.

Dear friend,

2008-04-13T23:55:00.003-04:00

I've been pretty busy lately, and a little stressed out. As a result, I've been slightly cranky and even a little rude to some people. I'm sure to most of the people who know me, it's not anything out of the ordinary. But while I'm often in a nasty mood around my family, my friends rarely see that side of me. I've felt bad for being somewhat short with them recently.. especially with one in particular. She doesn't seem to be too bothered by it, but that actually makes me feel worse about it. I feel like I act this way around people I know care about me, because they'll still care about me no matter how I act. Anyway, this particular friend sometimes has a problem telling me certain things about herself and her life. I'm a pretty opinionated person, so I'm afraid she feels like I will judge her. I hate that, because I love her and nothing she does or says would either surprise me or make me love her any less. Maybe she doesn't know that though. Sad thought.

2008-04-06T17:49:00.005-04:00

I mostly blog here for my own benefit, to read my own jumbled thoughts. If you're looking for something more interesting or structured, check out one of the links I have up.

lowercase people - in their own words: lowercase people is the collective effort of a community of thinkers, musicians, artists and writers [seeking to] revolutionize the way we view beauty, truth and humanity.
Dooce - everything from daily photos and hourly updates to the rantings and strange questions from the mind of a mother from the midwest.

These people have been writing for longer and have put slightly more effort into their pages.

I don't know...

2008-03-22T22:28:00.007-04:00

I am so restless right now. My mind is racing. It never stops. I just want for 5 minutes for my mind to just stop, just stop thinking. It’s killing me to sit still and type right now. I want to scream and run around and not stop until something stops me. I want to crash. I need to crash, into something. I think that’s the only way I will stop. That’s the only way my mind will stop racing and my heart will stop pounding. I think I’m angry…or rushed. I don’t know. I’m upset about something, or everything. I’m tired of people and places that I see. I don’t like it. I can’t figure it out. I just want to understand…why do I feel like this, why is my mind doing this, why is my heart beating so fast? Something is wrong with me, or with everyone else. Something is just wrong. It can’t be normal to feel like this. I feel like jumping off a building. Not to injure myself, but just to fall. In my mind I’m already falling, but not in a good way. It’s like someone just pushed me off a cliff and I’m trying not to fall, trying to climb back up. I hate this feeling. I don’t understand it. All I am really certain of, is that things have to change. Something, anything needs to change. I am so frantic for something to be different. I want to be somewhere else. I want to do something, anything else. I want to be someone else. No, I want to be me. I want to actually be myself for once.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-03-16T11:05:00.002-04:00

"I need to get on the computer soon, cause one of my NeoPets doesn't have a bed in their room, and they've been awake for like, two years. I'm serious, and it's not even funny. I need to get on there soon and get them a bed, so they can go to sleep. Okay? And I mean quickly."

The end of my Political Rantings

2008-02-26T16:06:00.000-05:00

I am really sick of hearing people talk about how much they hate our president and hate this country. First off, if you hate it so much.. LEAVE! I gaurantee you we won't miss you. But first you might want to be thankful that you live in a country where you actually have the freedom to come and go if you want. Secondly, stop pretending like you support our troops when every other word out of your mouth is some unpatriotic crap about how much you hate our country and hate war. No one LIKES war you idiot, but sometimes it's necessary. You say "blah blah blah war doesn't do anything." Yeah, except war ended slavery, facism, nazism, and communism. Yep, that's nothing. Way to go genius! Our troops are the ones that would give anything and are giving everything to defend this country and our God given rights as humans. So, if you don't support our country then you sure as hell do not support the troops. Get a freakin brain you anarachist idiots. No one said you had to like the president.. but if you are really concerned about it, then stop your whining and do something. How about get off your butt and go vote next election. Until then, try to be smart about it and stop thinking it is some fad to hate the president.

Andy Rooney said on '60 Minutes':

2008-02-19T06:34:00.005-05:00

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens... Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English! My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

I don't hate the rich, I don't pity the poor. I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say 'No!'

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe . I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! AMEN!

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up, Lay Down and Be Quiet!!!

Let me end this post by saying that I am not racist and I don't hate gay people. I love people in general, I just don't approve of every lifestyle or opinion. The point is that this is America. We are all entitled to our opinions. I happen to agree with Andy Rooney's opinion on these topics. You have the right to not like that, and I have the right to not care.

Contact

2008-01-01T15:28:00.003-05:00

If you have any questions or comments you'd like to send straight to me:

Email: raychel2009@aol.com

Yahoo: raychel.celeste

Do yourself a favor and don't spam me. You will be reported. Thanks!