Posted by Raychel Celeste

It's only Wednesday, and this week has already been more than interesting. A very good, old friend has come back into my life. Our relationship is resurfacing pretty much right where we left it. It's a good thing and it's making me happy, almost giddy. But it's scary. I'm not sure how to take it yet. We were so close for two years, then we both transferred to different schools and basically stopped talking. Now, out of nowhere, he's back. And he's coming at me in a way that I'm not accustomed to coming from him. It's just weird. Hopefully I can get past it quickly. I've really missed him.
Also, there are two people in my life.. very different situations.. that I have had such an up and down relationship with lately. It's so frustrating. As soon as I begin to consider one of them as someone I can actually love and trust, they show me otherwise. Anyway, they've both come to let me down this week. I blame myself partially though. I think I'm expecting too much out of people. Why should they be loving and understanding? Eh, it's not on their agenda I guess. I'm just deciding not to care so much anymore. C'est la vie.
In other news, everything with school is quickly falling into place. My references were more than generous with their evaluations of me. I've finished my 1,000 word admissions essay. Financial aid is pouring in. This might actually happen! I'm excited and still a little nervous. There are still some things to work out.. living arrangments, a few extra costs.. but it's nothing I can't tackle.
There is something else going on right now. It's pretty personal, and it's weighing heavily on me right now. I can't even begin to explain it. But the people around me don't seem to even notice the effect it's having on me. I'm dying for someone to understand it and what it's doing to me. But at the same time, I'd rather that no one cares, that way I don't have to confess it to anyone.

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Holly said...

Aw, Raych. We haven't had one of our talks in a while. We'll get together soon and do this.

Perksofbeingme said...

i love you.

ann marie said...

Sweety, I hope everything gets worked out between you and your friends. I'm excited for you about school too!