Single White Female

Posted by Raychel Celeste

I'm turning 22 this year, and I have no clue whether or not I'll be single. I've only been in the dating game for about six years, but I've had my experiences. I guess it's not really the people I've dated that have been the problem, but it's the situations. I've done long-distance relationships, dated guys who were too old for me, guys who were on the rebound, and guys who were too immature and needed a mother, not a girlfriend. I dated a guy (the "love of my life") off and on for about two years, while he was going to school across the country in California. Our relationship had so many ups and downs because of the complication of the distance. I was pretty young when we were dating, 17 or 18 years old. I know a lot of teenagers go through this situation when college starts, but after going through a couple years of that, I would never recommend long distance relationships for teenagers or young adults.

But I've had some problems with guys who were living right here. I've especially learned never to date a guy who is just out of a bad relationship. Ladies, I don't care how cute he is or how long you've liked him, DO NOT be the rebound girl. I am dating a guy right now who is great and makes me happy, but I'm in a weird situation with him too. He's older, 26 this year, and he has a son from a previous relationship. I can handle the kid (he's adorable!), but I can't handle baby mama drama. This hasn't been an issue so far. But he also lives almost three hours away now, so we have quite a commute to see each other. Relationships like this require a great deal of trust and communication, which we are lucky to have. Right now it's going great, but we're only a month into the relationship and I can see where problems can arise in the future.

It seems a lot of girls my age are already engaged or married, but I don't see a wedding in my near future. Sure, I want to get married eventually, but I'm satisfied looking for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. Sometimes I think it's better to be single and just test the waters. I still don't know where my life is taking me, I don't even know where next year will take me! I definitely don't need to bring someone else into this mess of a life and have them try to make it part of theirs. I think it's best for young adults to worry about their own lives and their own happiness first. Get your life in order, and make sure to have fun along the way. I don't think at this age, that looking for love should be a major goal. Put yourself out there, make yourself available, and just see what happens. If you find love, if you find your Mr. or Ms. Right, great! But if not, don't stress, we're still young and we have time. There is no rule saying you must be married by 23 and have two and a half kids by 30. Even if there was, we've never been that good at following rules anyway, so why start now?



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7 comments:

ann marie said...

Yes girl, take your time! Enjoy your freedom, haha.
P.S. I really do love my husband, I promise.

Jen said...

I have been just where you are (well kinda). I found my husband when I had stopped looking - totally cliche but totally true. You have plenty of time to grow up and get married. Enjoy being 22 while it lasts!

Shannon Vieau said...

Two And A Half Kids? What Happened To The Other Half Of The Kid? lol

Raychel Celeste said...

It's in the womb! It's just a saying, I didn't make it up.

Carrie Penny said...

Don't look for Mr. Right. Trust me, when you and him are ready; God will put you together. There are always trials and tribulations whether you are dating or married. Look at the psycho drama I have delt with over the past 4 years...

A great should I date him or not philosophy is my three date rule... If you don't see yourself ever possibly being married to the guy, don't go on a 4th date...

TOPolk said...

Keep this mentality until you meet the right guy. I've known plenty of girls who were content w/ Mr. Right Now at 21-23 but as soon as they turned 26 felt that they needed to get married ASAP. I've been witness to more than one "marriage of convenience" do to this sudden change in thinking.

Jamie Stavenger said...

I have to agree with Jen and Carrie- the good guys tend to surface when you aren't looking. This happened to me and what ensued was a year-long long-distance relationship that ended up in marriage! (The GOOD thing about long distance is that you figure out pretty early whether you- literally- want to "invest" in the relationship...MN to CA got pretty expensive!)

I was 29 when I met my hubby. Keep the faith- when the timing is right, it will happen :)